I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And I will glorify Your name forevermore.¹

Recently, someone deeply wounded me emotionally.  I then got to the point where I cycled through a host of negative emotions that seemed to keep coming around to anger.  The offense ate at me for days.  My brain was imagining the next conversation I would have with this person and what I would say.  I was going to give this person a piece of my mind.  But then, God stepped in and reminded me I was not behaving appropriately.  Vengeance is His, not mine.  He sees every tear I cry.  He knows my pain.  He endured the deepest pain of all—separation from His Son because of the sin of humankind being placed upon Him at the cross—and yet He loved with all His heart.  So, I agreed with God and changed my thoughts.  But then later on in the course of the day, my anger and hurt resurfaced.  I battled back and forth, day after day, not being able to release the hurt.  I was losing peace, productivity, and even sleep.  And then one day, I cried out with all my heart and said, “God, what do I do about this?  Please, help me.”  God subsequently spoke to my heart and said, “Love this person well.”  I agreed.  I needed to love this person well.  I needed to do what God wanted me to do.  I needed to do the right thing regardless of what the other person had done.  So, I began to think and speak different thoughts.  “I will love you.  I forgive you.”  But I had to go a step further, I had to move this from a matter of the mind and tongue to a matter of the heart.  I had to allow God to help me love this person with all my heart.

And then came the face-to-face meeting with this person, our first encounter since the painful situation had unfolded.  I held my tongue and showed love and kindness.  Victory!  God had brought healing to my heart!  And because my heart was right with God, healing entered this particular relationship, whereas the opening of my mouth with my previous thought pattern would have utterly destroyed it.

I am trying to live as God would have me to live.  He is love, and He offers forgiveness.  I have asked Him to teach me His ways and unite my heart to reverence Him.²  When I go off and start living for myself, caught up in my ways and my sins, my heart is divided.  And, I cannot serve two masters.  I am either serving God, or I am serving myself.  Thus, when I recently allowed these negative thoughts and emotions to take over my life, I was not following God; I was following myself.  I was not exhibiting love, and I was not exhibiting forgiveness.  I was not loving God with my whole heart; yet, this is something I always need to be doing.  When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, this was His response: “’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”³  Jesus also spoke about forgiving others, and at one point He answered a question to say that it should be done 490 times—for the same person!⁴

So, onward and forward I go, seeking to love God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind.  And when I am wholeheartedly doing this, I will be able to love my neighbor as myself. 

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For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,
And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.

Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;
And attend to the voice of my supplications.

In the day of my trouble I will call upon You,
For You will answer me.

Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord;
Nor are there any works like Your works.

All nations whom You have made
Shall come and worship before You, O Lord,
And shall glorify Your name.

For You are great, and do wondrous things;
You alone are God.

Teach me Your way, O LORD;
I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name.

I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And I will glorify Your name forevermore.⁵

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NOTES

¹ Psalm 86:12

² See Psalm 86:11

³ Taken from Matthew 22:37–40

⁴ See Matthew 18:22

⁵ Psalm 86:5–12

Scriptures quoted from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible, © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.

©Text and photo Francee Strain, April 18, 2021